SEX TERMS: You are hanging out with friends and the conversation turns to the topic of sex. Suddenly, they start using terms that you don’t understand. You feel uncomfortable and unsure of what to say because you don’t want to reveal your lack of knowledge about the topic. You sit quietly, feeling embarrassed and left out of the conversation.
It’s completely normal not to know every term related to sex. In fact, it’s perfectly fine to be unfamiliar with some of the language used to discuss it.
That’s why Swingstr has compiled this list of sex terms, complete with definitions, to help you feel more confident and informed the next time you encounter unfamiliar language in a conversation about sex.
Anal:
Any sexual activity that typically involves inserting a body part or object into the anus.
Anorgasmia:
When you struggle to achieve orgasm even though you are receiving adequate stimulation.
Asexual:
A person who does not experience sexual attraction. It is important to note that asexual people can still experience romance and other forms of emotional intimacy. There are many stereotypes about asexuality that are not true and it is important to not make assumptions about a person’s experiences based on their asexuality.
Autosexual:
Having sexual attraction or arousal towards oneself. Autosexuality is considered a sexual orientation and can vary in intensity and expression.
Bareback:
Having sexual intercourse without using any form of protection, such as condoms.
BDSM:
A type of sexual activity that involves a power dynamic and includes elements of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. It is often referred to as BDSM for short.
Bisexual:
A sexual orientation characterized by attraction to both people of the same gender and people of a different gender. This can include romantic and sexual attraction.
Blow Job:
Performing oral sex on someone, which involves using the mouth to stimulate the genitals. When oral sex is performed on a person with a penis, it is called a blow job. When it is performed on a person with a vagina, it is called cunnilingus.
Blue Balls:
“Blue balls” is a colloquial term that refers to the discomfort or pain that can sometimes occur in the scrotum due to prolonged sexual arousal without orgasm. It is not a medical condition and is not harmful.
Breath Play:
Breath play is a BDSM activity that involves restricting a person’s oxygen supply in order to increase sexual pleasure or stimulate orgasm. It is important to note that this activity carries significant risks and should only be engaged in with caution and with the full consent of all parties involved. It is also important to have a safeword in place to ensure that the activity can be stopped immediately if necessary.
Bulge:
The outline of a person’s penis that is visible through clothing, such as underwear, swimwear, or pants. Some people find this appearance to be sexually arousing.
Butt Plug:
A sex toy that is inserted into the anus for sexual pleasure. Anal plugs come in a variety of shapes and materials, such as plastic, rubber, and glass, and some may also vibrate. They are called “plugs” because they are inserted into the anus and remain in place.
Cowgirl:
A sexual position in which one person sits on top of their partner, with their legs on either side of the hips, and moves their body up and down, side to side, or in other ways while on their partner’s genitals, sex toy, or hand.
Cosplay:
“Cosplay” is a shortened form of “costume play,” in which people dress up as characters or pop culture icons and adopt their persona for a specific period of time. Cosplay can be sexual or non-sexual in nature and is often discussed in a sexual context.
Creampie:
A creampie refers to the act of ejaculating inside a partner’s vagina during sex, and then having the semen leak or drip out afterwards.
Clitoris:
The clitoris is a small, highly sensitive sexual organ that is located within the vulva. It has thousands of nerve endings and is often an important part of sexual pleasure for people with vulvas. Many people with vulvas need their clitoris to be stimulated in order to achieve orgasm.
Circumcision:
Circumcision is a surgical procedure that involves removing the foreskin of the penis. It is often done for aesthetic, personal, or cultural reasons, and is typically performed on infants. However, it can also be done in adulthood for medical reasons. Removing the foreskin exposes the head of the penis.
Cunnilingus:
Cunnilingus is a term used to describe the act of performing oral sex on a person with a vulva. This involves using the lips and tongue to stimulate the vulva, which includes the labia majora (outer lips), labia minora (inner lips), and clitoris.
Deep Throating:
Deep throating is a technique used during oral sex, specifically during a blow job, in which the person performing oral sex takes the penis as far into their throat as possible. This can sometimes result in gagging or vomiting for the person performing oral sex.
Demisexual:
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person does not experience sexual attraction to others unless they have formed an emotional connection with them first. This means that a demisexual person may not feel sexually attracted to someone until they have gotten to know them and have developed a strong emotional bond with them.
Diaphragm:
A diaphragm is a type of contraceptive device that is inserted into the vagina and sits over the cervix. Its purpose is to block sperm from reaching and fertilizing an egg. The diaphragm is made of flexible material and is shaped like a shallow dome, with a diameter that is slightly larger than the cervix. It is held in place by the muscles of the pelvic floor and is used in combination with a spermicidal gel or cream.
DILF:
DILF is a slang term that stands for “Dad I’d Like to Fuck” It is used to describe an attractive older man who is a father. The term is often used in a playful or humorous manner, and it is not meant to be taken seriously. It is important to remember that it is never appropriate to objectify or sexualize someone without their consent, and that it is always important to treat others with respect and dignity, regardless of their age or parenting status.
Dirty Talk:
Dirty talk is a form of sexual communication that involves talking about sex, sexual acts, or fantasies in a explicit or suggestive way. It can be used to build sexual tension or arousal, or as a form of foreplay. It can occur before, during, or after sexual activity.
Doggy-Style:
Doggy style is a sexual position in which one person enters the other from behind while the receiving partner is on their hands and knees. The position is called “doggy style” because it somewhat resembles the way that dogs and other animals have sex.
Edging:
Edging, also known as orgasm control, is a technique that involves bringing oneself close to orgasm and then stopping or delaying the arousal in order to build up to a more powerful orgasm when it is finally released. It can be done by oneself or with a partner.
Face-Sitting:
Facesitting is a sexual activity in which one person sits on top of their partner’s face with their genitals in close proximity to or on top of their partner’s mouth. This position allows the sitting partner to receive oral sex while also maintaining control over the pace and intensity of the activity.
Facial:
Facials, also known as cum shots, involve a person with a penis ejaculating onto the face of their partner. This sexual activity is often depicted in pornography.
Fingering:
Fingering is the act of using one’s finger or fingers to stimulate the vagina, clitoris, vulva, or other sensitive areas of the body for sexual pleasure or as a form of foreplay. It can be done until the person experiencing the stimulation reaches orgasm or as a way to build arousal before engaging in other sexual activities.
Foot Fetish:
Foot fetishism, also known as podophilia, is a sexual interest in feet. This can involve a attraction to the appearance of feet, or a desire for physical stimulation of the feet through activities such as touching, kissing, sucking, or licking.
Foot Job:
Footjob is a sexual activity in which one person uses their feet to stimulate the genitals of their partner, typically through a up and down motion similar to a hand job. Lubricant is often used to make the experience more comfortable.
Foreplay:
Foreplay refers to the activities that often, but not always, precede sexual intercourse. These can include things like making out, cuddling, kissing, touching, and other forms of physical intimacy. Foreplay is a broad term and can include a wide range of activities. It is typically used to build sexual tension and arousal before engaging in sexual activity.
Golden Shower:
A golden shower, also known as “water sports,” is a sexual activity in which one person urinates on or in front of their partner. The term “golden shower” comes from the fact that urine is yellow in color. This activity is often considered to be a form of fetish or kink.
Gagging:
Gagging is a sexual activity that involves choking or gagging during sex, often as part of BDSM play or as a kink. It is a consensual activity that is intended to create a feeling of vulnerability or submission in the person being gagged. It is important to note that gagging can be dangerous if not done safely and with proper communication and consent between all parties involved.
Hand Job:
Hand job is a term used to describe the act of manually stimulating a person’s penis with the hand, often to the point of orgasm. It is a common form of sexual activity and can be done alone or with a partner.
Hickey:
Hickeys, also known as love bites, are marks that are caused by sucking or biting on a person’s skin, usually on the neck, and can result in a discoloration or bruise. They are usually a result of intense kissing or biting during a moment of passion. Hickeys are not harmful or dangerous, but they can be sensitive to the touch.
Labia:
The labia, also known as the vaginal lips, are folds of skin that sit on either side of the vaginal opening. They protect the genital organs and can become engorged with blood during arousal, making them sensitive to touch during sex. The labia include the labia majora (the outer lips) and the labia minora (the inner lips).
Lube:
Lubricant (Lube) is a substance that is used to reduce friction during sexual activity. It can be applied to a person’s genitals or to a sex toy to make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable. Lubricant can be made from water, silicone, or other ingredients and is typically available in a liquid or gel form. It is used to enhance the comfort and enjoyment of sexual activity and can be particularly helpful for those experiencing vaginal dryness or discomfort during sex.
Masturbation:
Masturbation is the act of self-stimulating one’s own genitals, often to the point of orgasm. It is a common and healthy way for people to explore their own bodies and find out what feels good to them sexually. Masturbation can be done with or without the use of sex toys, and can be a solo activity or done with a partner.
Mile-High Club:
The “mile-high club” is a term used to refer to people who have had sexual activity on an airplane. This activity is often considered taboo due to the close quarters and lack of privacy on an airplane, and it is not uncommon for people to try to sneak away to a bathroom or other private area to engage in sexual activity. While it is not illegal to have sex on an airplane, it is generally not acceptable or appropriate behavior and can lead to discomfort or disturbance for other passengers.
MILF:
MILF is an acronym that stands for “Mom I’d Like to Fuck.” It is a slang term that refers to an attractive, typically older woman who is a mother. The term is often used in a sexual or suggestive context and is not meant to be taken literally. It is important to note that the term MILF is often used without the person’s consent and can be considered objectifying or derogatory. It is important to respect people’s boundaries and not use terms like this without their permission.
Missionary:
Missionary position is a sexual position in which one person lies on their back while the other is on top of them, thrusting or grinding onto or into them. It is called the “missionary position” because it was traditionally seen as the “standard” or “vanilla” sexual position and is often depicted as such in popular media.
Motorboating:
Motorboating is a sexual act in which a person puts their face in between two breasts and blows with their mouth or lips, creating a noise similar to the sound of a motorboat. It is often done as a form of foreplay or as a playful or humorous gesture. It is important to note that this activity should only be performed with the explicit consent of all parties involved.
Nipple Clamps:
Nipple clamps are sex toys that are designed to gently clip onto the nipples for both visual and stimulation purposes. The nipples contain over 2,000 nerve endings each, making them a powerful tool for sexual pleasure and orgasm. Nipple clamps are typically adjustable and can be worn for extended periods of time or used during sexual activity. They are often used as a form of BDSM play or as a way to increase arousal and sensitivity in the nipples. It is important to use caution when using nipple clamps, as they can cause discomfort or pain if applied too tightly or left on for too long.
Orbiting:
Orbiting is a term used to describe when an ex-partner continues to stay present in your life by engaging with your social media activity, such as liking your posts or watching your stories. This is often done with the intention of reminding you that they are still around or available, either romantically or sexually. Orbiting can be confusing and can make it difficult to move on from a relationship. It is important to communicate your boundaries and set clear limits with your ex-partner to avoid feeling uncomfortable or pressured.
Orgy:
Orgy is a term used to describe group sex with multiple partners. It is typically defined as sexual activity involving three or more people at the same time. An orgy can take many different forms, such as a party where multiple people are engaging in various sexual activities together, or a more structured event where people participate in specific sexual acts as a group. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and safe, and it is important to communicate boundaries and use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Pansexual:
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to people of any gender identity. The term “pansexual” comes from the Greek word “pan,” which means “all.” Pansexuality is often seen as a more inclusive term than bisexuality, as it recognizes the diversity of gender identities and allows for attraction to people who do not identify as male or female. Pansexual people may be attracted to people who identify as cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming, as well as people who do not conform to traditional gender roles and expectations.
Pearl Necklace:
Pearl necklace is a term used to describe when a person with a penis ejaculates onto their partner’s chest area, creating a pattern that is said to resemble a pearl necklace. This term is often used in a sexual or suggestive context and is not meant to be taken literally. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and that it is important to communicate boundaries and use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Pegging:
Pegging is a term used to describe when a non-penis-having person performs penetrative sex on a partner using a strap-on dildo. This term is often used in reference to heterosexual relationships, but can also be applicable to any relationship where one person does not have a penis. Pegging can be a way for people to explore different types of sexual pleasure and can be a fun and enjoyable activity for both partners when it is consensual and all parties are comfortable. It is important to communicate boundaries and use lubricant to reduce friction and increase pleasure during pegging.
Period Sex:
Period sex is a term used to describe sexual activity that occurs while a person is menstruating, or with a partner who is menstruating. Some people find the idea of period sex to be unappealing or taboo, while others may find it to be a normal and enjoyable part of their sexual repertoire. It is important to communicate boundaries and use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections during period sex. Some people may also want to use a menstrual cup or a towel to prevent messiness. It is also important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual.
Pregnant Sex:
Pregnancy sex is a term used to describe sexual activity that occurs while a person is pregnant, or with a partner who is pregnant. Some people find pregnancy to be a time when their sexual desire increases, while others may experience a decrease in desire. It is important to communicate with your partner about your needs and boundaries during pregnancy, and to consult with a healthcare provider if you have any concerns about the safety of sexual activity during pregnancy. It is also important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual.
Quickie:
Quickie is a term used to describe sexual activity that is fast and typically does not involve foreplay or aftercare. A quickie may be used as a way to satisfy a sudden desire for sexual activity or as a way to have sex in a short amount of time due to limited availability. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and that it is important to communicate with your partner about their needs and boundaries. It is also important to use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Queefing:
Queefing is a term used to describe the noise that can be made when air is suddenly released from the vagina during sexual activity. Queefing can sometimes sound similar to farting, but it is completely normal and does not have a smell. It occurs when air becomes trapped in the vagina and is then released, and it is not related to the digestive system. Queefing is a natural and harmless bodily function that can occur during any type of sexual activity, including penetration, and it is not something to be embarrassed about. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to communicate with your partner about their needs and boundaries.
Rainbow Kiss:
Rainbow kiss is a term used to describe a sexual act that involves a person with a vulva receiving oral sex while they are menstruating and a person with a penis receiving oral sex. After both parties orgasm, the rainbow kiss is when the menstrual blood and semen are mixed together in the mouths of the people involved. This act is considered to be a form of BDSM play and is not for everyone, as it involves the exchange of bodily fluids. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to communicate with your partner about their boundaries and comfort level. It is also important to use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Reverse-Cowgirl:
Reverse cowgirl is a term used to describe a sexual position where one person is on top and facing the opposite direction, with their back towards their partner. This position is similar to the regular cowgirl position, except the person on top is facing away from their partner and their partner can see their butt instead of their front. Reverse cowgirl can be a fun and intimate position for couples to try, and it allows the person on top to control the pace and depth of penetration. It is important to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to communicate with your partner about their needs and boundaries. It is also important to use protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Rimming:
Rimming, also known as anilingus or analingus, is a sexual act in which one person puts their mouth on another person’s anus for the purpose of sexual stimulation. It can be a part of foreplay or can be the main sexual activity. Anilingus can be a pleasurable and intimate experience for some people, but it is important to remember that it can also pose a risk for sexually transmitted infections if proper precautions are not taken. It is important to communicate with your partner about their boundaries and comfort level and to use protection, such as a dental dam or condom, to reduce the risk of infection.
Rough Sex:
Rough sex is a term that is used to describe a type of sexual activity that involves rough or aggressive play, such as spanking, biting, scratching, or pulling hair. It can also involve dirty talk or the use of BDSM elements, such as power dynamics, restraints, or impact play. The level of roughness can vary from person to person, and it is important to communicate with your partner about your boundaries and comfort level. It is also important to practice safe and consensual sex, including using protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. It is essential to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to respect your partner’s boundaries.
Rusty Trombone:
A rim job and hand job combo, also known as a rim and hand combo, is a sexual act where one person performs oral sex on their partner’s anus (rim job) while simultaneously stimulating their genitals with their hands (hand job). This can be a pleasurable and intimate experience for some people, but it is important to remember that it can also pose a risk for sexually transmitted infections if proper precautions are not taken. It is important to communicate with your partner about their boundaries and comfort level and to use protection, such as a dental dam or condom, to reduce the risk of infection. It is also essential to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to respect your partner’s boundaries.
Safe Word:
A safe word is a pre-agreed upon word or phrase that is used during sexual activity to signal that one partner wants to stop or pause the activity. It is an important tool for ensuring that all sexual activity is consensual and that everyone’s boundaries are respected. A safe word can be used for various reasons, such as if one partner becomes uncomfortable, if they feel overwhelmed or distressed, or if they experience physical pain. It is important to establish a safe word before engaging in any sexual activity and to make sure that both partners are aware of it. It is also important to respect your partner’s use of the safe word and to stop the activity immediately when it is used. It is essential to remember that all sexual activity should be consensual and to respect your partner’s boundaries.
Sex-repulsed:
Sex-repulsed refers to a person who experiences a strong and persistent aversion to or disgust with sex. This can be a result of a variety of factors, including past trauma, cultural or religious beliefs, personal values, or simply a lack of sexual attraction. Sex-repulsed individuals may feel uncomfortable or distressed when exposed to sexual content or when discussing sex-related topics. It is important to respect and validate a person’s feelings around sex and to not pressure them to engage in sexual activity if they do not feel comfortable. It is also important to recognize that everyone’s feelings about sex are different and that it is completely normal to have different levels of interest or desire for sex.
Shrimping:
Toe sucking, also known as foot fetishism, is a sexual interest or fetish involving the feet or toes of a person. It involves sucking on, licking, or otherwise stimulating a partner’s toes as a form of sexual activity. This activity is often seen as part of a larger foot fetish, which can involve a variety of behaviors and practices, including foot worship, massaging or kissing the feet, and smelling or tasting foot-related items. While some people may find toe sucking to be a pleasurable or arousing activity, others may not be interested in it at all. It is important to communicate with your partner about your boundaries and preferences when it comes to sexual activity.
Situationship:
“Casual dating” refers to a relationship where two people are involved with each other, but are not committed to a monogamous or exclusive relationship. They may see each other regularly, but do not consider themselves to be in a serious or committed relationship. Casual dating can involve going out on dates or engaging in other forms of physical or emotional intimacy, but it does not involve the same level of commitment or exclusivity as a more serious relationship. Casual dating is often seen as a way for people to explore their options and to get to know someone before committing to a more serious relationship. It is important to communicate with your partner about your boundaries and expectations in a casual dating relationship.
Sixty-Nine (69):
“69” is a sex position where two people perform oral sex on each other simultaneously, with one person lying on their back and the other lying on top of them. The name “69” refers to the position of the two people’s bodies, with one person lying on top of the other with their head near their partner’s genitals and their feet near their partner’s head. This position allows both people to pleasure each other orally at the same time, and can be enjoyable for both partners. It is important to communicate with your partner about what feels good and to respect each other’s boundaries when engaging in this position.
Spooning:
Rewrite: A sexual position where two people lie on their sides, facing the same direction, with one person’s body nestled close behind the other’s. The person in front can also be penetrated during this position.
Squirting:
The release of fluid from the vagina, often associated with orgasm. This fluid may contain traces of urine, but is not solely urine.
Strap-On:
A strap-on is a type of sex toy that includes a harness that is worn around the hips and a dildo or vibrator that is attached to the harness. It is typically used by people who do not have a penis in order to engage in penetrative sex with a partner. The harness can be worn by anyone, regardless of their gender identity, and the dildo or vibrator can be used to stimulate the partner’s genitals or anus. Some strap-ons also have features like adjustable straps or interchangeable dildos, which can allow for a customized fit and varied sensations. Strap-ons can be used for a variety of purposes, including role-playing, BDSM play, or simply for the pleasure of both partners.
Submarining:
An ex-partner may try to reenter your life and act as if nothing happened after you last saw each other.
Tea Bagging:
When a person with a penis places their scrotum in the face or mouth of another person while standing, hovering, or kneeling over them.
Temperature Play:
BDSM play that involves the use of heat or cold to heighten the senses can be a consensual form of BDSM activity. Examples include using hot wax or a cold ice cube on a person’s body for arousal. It is important to remember that all BDSM activities should be consensual, and all participants should have a clear understanding of the boundaries and limits before engaging in any BDSM play.
Thigh Job:
When a person uses their thighs to stimulate another person’s genitals, this can be referred to as a “thigh job.” This sexual act is similar to a hand job or a foot job, but involves the use of the thighs instead. As with any sexual activity, it is important that all participants give their explicit consent and feel comfortable with the activity. It is not acceptable to engage in any sexual activity without the full and enthusiastic consent of all parties involved.
Threesome:
A sexual activity involving three people at the same time is often referred to as a “threesome.” This can include various forms of sexual activity, such as oral sex, genital stimulation, and penetration. It is important that all parties involved in a threesome have explicit consent and are comfortable with the activity. It is not acceptable to engage in any sexual activity without the full and enthusiastic consent of all parties involved.
Vibrator:
A vibrator is a sex toy that is designed to stimulate the body and help bring a person to orgasm. It can be used externally, or it can be inserted into the anus or vagina, depending on the toy’s safety instructions. Vibrators come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and can be used by people of all genders and sexual orientations. It is important to read and follow the safety instructions for any sex toy, and to use lubricant when inserting a toy into the anus or vagina to reduce the risk of injury.
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